Real or Fake?

Last night, I dragged MrDartt to the annual Rodeo Dance downtown. He had fun despite himself. In addition to his rendition of the two-step, which he called the three-and-a-half-step, we had fun people watching. We played, "Real or Fake," in which we looked at people and guessed whether they were real cowboys or fake ones.
You see, every year, there's a five- or six-day rodeo in town. It's a big deal and the local bars are swamped with participants (the real cowboys). This rodeo and all its associated events (like the Rodeo Dance, which is in the parking lot of a shopping center, and is complete with hay bales for seating around the dance floor) draws a lot of locals who dress up in Western wear just for fun during the weeklong festivities (those are the fake cowboys).
Some things to look for when playing:
The hat. Is it black and shiny? Does it have rhinestones? Does it have feathers? If the answer to any of these is yes, then the hat is probably not on a real cowboy. If it's a baseball cap, it's probably only on a real cowboy if it is fitted -- and if he's wearing the right shirt. Read on.
The shirt. Is it tucked in? Is it plaid? If yes to both, probably it's on a real cowboy. Here's a contradiction, though: one guy was wearing a super-tight black and white striped shirt that showed off his big muscles. He had on what looked like a real cowboy hat. And real cowboy boots. But the shirt was so goofy! It was SO tight (I know I already said that, but seriously. It was SO TIGHT). And it was tucked in to his jeans, which were so high on his waist. We decided he was a real cowboy because of the way his jeans fit and because of how well he could do the two step.
The belt. Does it have a big buckle? Not all cowboys wear belts, and some fake cowboys wear the big buckles, so this one is not a dead giveaway.
The jeans. This is a big one. Are they baggy? If so, this almost certainly is not a real cowboy. Cowboys wear those nice, tight, perfectly-fitted jeans. This is one of the best things about cowboys and about the rodeo and about the Rodeo Dance. I know MrDartt will read this, but I have admitted openly that cowboy bottoms are often nice-looking.
The boots. Are the boots squeaky clean and brand new looking? Or are they dirty, scratched, dusty and mud-caked? There was one young guy who almost had us fooled. He was wearing loose jeans and a loose name brand T-shirt, and he had spiky hair (no hat, and no hat hair). But the dirty boots gave him away.
The dancing. Any decent cowboy has perfected the two step to any song, fast or slow. He can twirl a girl around the dance floor -- darting here and there, to and fro, between other couples who do not do the two step very well (read: MrDartt and MrsDartt), and all the while, he looks totally bored.
So next time you're at a rodeo dance, or next time you see a cowboy walking down the street (which happens more often here than it does in other parts of the country), you'll be able to spot whether he's a fake.
Remember, if he has rhinestones on his hat, he's probably a fake.