My big scare

Last night I had quite a scare, and then quite a laugh.
I went out on the front porch to feed Lola, and there was a HUGE tarantula right next to her bowl. Okay, it wasn't that big, for a tarantula, but it was big for a spider, and it was black and hairy. And those things can jump, you know.
So I quickly went back into the house and called my parents to ask what to do. I know, what a baby, right? Anyway, I told my dad, "I don't know what to do. It's right next to Lola's bowl."
"I'll be right down," he said. I argued with him for a few minutes, but I could sense his excitement building. In the meantime, I watched through the window as Lola sniffed the spider and sent it scurrying away. I told my dad it was gone, but he came down anyway.
I heard his truck pull up, and I walked onto the front porch, where I saw it curled up in the corner, probably hiding from Lola. My dad emerged with a big orange Home Depot bucket and a broom.
Before I tell the rest of the story you should know that my dad is not a small guy. He is about 6'3", and was a lineman in college football.
So he spots the spider, and comes onto the porch and tries to sweep it into the bucket. It runs to the edge of the front porch. My dad leaps back.
At this time MrDartt, who was working late last night, calls and I relay the story to him. We're cracking up, and MrDartt says probably my dad wants to capture the tarantula and put it in a terrarium so Big Boy can raise it. My dad has mentioned this idea before.
My dad tries again to sweep the spider into the bucket. This time, it goes into the bucket, but it crawls right back up the edge of the bucket and jumps out. My dad leaps back.
Then he's trying to sweep it into the bucket, while he's standing half on the patio and half on the lawn. The spider's not going in and my dad keeps jumping back.
For such a tough talker, he's kind of skittish around this spider. But you'd better believe I'm not touching that sucker. MrDartt and I hung up.
Then my dad tells me, "This is half the size of the tarantula we found in our garage. Your brother stepped on it and the legs came off and they were still moving!"
No wonder he was skittish.
Finally, he got the spider to stay in the bucket and then he ran across the lawn and threw it onto our big hill.
Whew.